Step 2

Ask about what they do and their goals, etc.

Think of your conversation as a very friendly game of ping pong:

• PING: you say the first paragraph/sentence—starting with a shared interest or a compliment

• PONG: you ask the person a question about that shared interest or compliment

• PING: the person responds

• PONG: and one of you (if the person doesn’t, it’s up to you) will then comment on the response OR introduce another topic, etc.

• PING: and the other (or both of you) will ask another question…

Do watch facial gestures and body language carefully. Any signs of defensiveness or boredom (folded hands across chest, clenched teeth or hands, blank eyes, etc.), just back off—perhaps you’re making them feel uncomfortable, accidentally drilling them, etc.?

Remember you two are strangers and strangers are initially often wary of the other, and that’s okay. Talk about the weather, food, surroundings, or some other non-threatening, non-controversial neutral topic until the person relaxes and smiles—yes, you’ve now connected and started to build a new weak tie relationship.

Written by Kathy Graham - what are your thoughts?