Step 1

Share common interests, starting with you.

An often heard piece of advice is that one should ask questions and get the other person talking first. In many cases, that’s great counsel. However, an alternative approach that breaks the ice between 2 strangers faster is to:

• Offer some information first about yourself that is based on a common interest or situation.

• Be friendly, smile, make sure that your body language is conveying openness—perhaps lean forward a bit, open/relaxed hands and arms, legs crossed at the ankles/knees slightly apart, relaxed demeanor?

Above approach works because of Professor Wayne Baker’s ‘liking principle’—”the human tendency to comply with requests made by authentic people we like”—AND Professor Ron Burt’s research finding that “establishing a weak tie network depends on PERSONAL ENGAGEMENT.”

Of course, you will need to do some research on the person by:

• Viewing/reading their LinkedIn profile, including all their Activity posts, comments, etc.; their Volunteering, Education, Organizations, Interests, and Recommendations sections.

• Googling their name (try “first name, last name,” then “company” and/or “state” to narrow responses)…and do remember to read all interesting info, including on pages 2 and onward.

Then ask yourself:

• What’s most interesting about this person?—your answer becomes a sincere compliment you share to break the ice naturally…and most like to hear sincere compliments and then tend to like the bearer of such.

• What interests, situations, etc. do we have in common?—your answer becomes your opening “ice-breaker” topic/remarks…and most tend to like others who are naturally like themselves in some way.

Written by Kathy Graham - what are your thoughts?